3 weeks have passed but the feelings are so overwhelming still... I guess with his company you wouldn't really understand how hard it is to try to be strong alone... I feel so lost yet I know I cannot break, maybe because I still wish that you will be back one day...
Was standing at the Queensway cross junction and didn't know where to go... for a moment I wished that the vehicles would ramp up the curb and take me away.... I'm not been silly nor am I giving up on myself, just that it's been so hard... so damn hard... I so need to be unconscious... consciousness has become so scary, I have so many questions, so many what ifs? What did I do wrong, Am i so detestable that you have to punish me this way, What about our promises? And i keep seeing you... this is so painful...
You sounded weird over the phone today, trying to be chirpy and happy, maybe he's right next to you... I do hope he can give you the happiness you want... I thought we were so comfortable with each other, we were in it for the long haul, and we would spend a lifetime together, what changed, don't I deserve a second chance or some avenues for redress.. Everything I have done I have done it for you and more so now, everything I do I do it for you...
If I can't be around anymore, do be strong and stay happy, but be good to yourself and do the right thing, I am glad I have been in your prayers and you will be too, Love you always.......
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